The Fabric of Loss: Weaving Grief into Life

We often associate grief with the profound emotions that follow the death of someone

 we love. While this is certainly one of the most obvious forms of grief, grief is far more expansive. It can live quietly within us through countless other moments and losses or scream for attention at the most unexpected times. One loss may awaken the emotions of another that has been lying dormant for years.

The Conscious Grieving™ model identifies five specific forms of grief, each of which may be experienced alone or alongside the others.

Anticipatory grief refers to all that we feel when we know a loss is coming. Many of us have felt this with the illness of a loved one, particularly aging parents, or with our own illness or diagnosis.

Complicated grief arises when intense, lingering emotions disrupt our ability to live fully. It often follows trauma, complex relationships, or overwhelming circumstances, and can take years to work through—especially when anger, confusion, or betrayal coexist with our deep sadness.

Ambiguous grief results from losses without clear closure, information, or resolution—such as divorce, estrangement, addiction, or mental illness—where possibility still exists. Because hope remains, the grief often shows up as anxiety or persistent worry and is easily overlooked. Even when change is welcome, the grief still needs to be acknowledged and processed.

Disenfranchised grief refers to losses that are not readily recognized or socially acknowledged such as pregnancy loss, racism, infertility, retirement, pet-loss, moving, and empty nesting. Because these losses are often minimized or overlooked, those experiencing them may feel lost, empty, angry, and unsure.

And Collective grief refers to the shared sorrow we carry during times of widespread crisis, social upheaval, and strife. It is grief for the world itself, and for many of us, feels especially present and alive.

Then there is Secondary grief—representing the additional layers of pain, stress, or disruption created by the ripple effects of the primary loss. These may include changes to financial stability, social connections, family structure, or daily routines, often bringing feelings of insecurity, fear, and loneliness.

Each form of grief is significant, and one can build upon the other resulting in emotional overwhelm and hopelessness--even when we are unaware of their origins.

So how do we meet the weight of grief?

Experts tell us that grief must be expressed. While that expression is deeply personal and unique, it requires an outlet. Grief longs to be witnessed—without judgement, without fixing, without comparison--simply held in compassionate presence. And as humans, we naturally seek-- and need--meaning in our loss.

When we can work through grief’s complexities with forgiveness and compassion, honoring both the pain and the love, we can begin to transform grief into hope. In doing so, we come to live more authentically and meaningfully with our personal truths.

When we allow the expression, witness, and processing our grief longs for, we often work through layers of grief we may not have even been aware of. Our grief softens and our nervous systems settle, creating space for integration rather than expending endless energy on suppression or mere regulation. Because grief does not disappear; it shows up in unexpected ways—emotional overwhelm, anxiety, fear, and anger.

Often, grief remains unseen simply because there hasn’t been the time or capacity to process it—or because we weren’t yet developmentally ready. Life calls us to many responsibilities, and at times that, too, is a gift and even part of meaningful healing and resolution. When those responsibilities serve as a tribute to our loved one, they can be especially healing. We each process grief in our own way, when we are ready and able, sometimes needing to compartmentalize and move at our own pace.

Grief work isn’t about reliving the pain endlessly or losing momentum in life. It’s about metabolizing the losses, so they no longer run the show from the background. We gain clarity, confidence, resilience, and a stronger sense of self. Surprisingly, sometimes when we do grief work around one particular loss, we find resolution around other prior losses. I experienced this personally. As I processed some of my trauma surrounding Graham’s death through an IADC (Induced After Death Communication) session, I also found a deeper sense of serenity around my mom’s death, which had occurred decades earlier when I was just twelve. Processing the pain of one loss can ripple outward, helping to heal wounds from other losses.

In this way, processing grief is not a step backward, often a concern for people. Rather, it’s a stabilizing step forward. It helps us move on with the loss, rather than carrying it unresolved into every next chapter.

Personally, I have found that each time I dive deeper into the truths of what happened with my son Graham’s death, each time I attend to detail, I am rewarded with greater understanding. It is as though each detail I honor, each anniversary I mark, becomes a thread, and over time those threads start to reveal a pattern that wasn’t visible from a distance. And when it does, it doesn’t feel random—it feels aligned. I come to make sense of it, and serenity emerges. Serenity doesn’t take away the pain but rather holds it softly. I learn that pain, peace, and joy can coexist beautifully. Indeed, grief is love. And attending to it, expands that love.

At our Sacred Journey With Grief Retreat February 8-15 in Belize, and throughout all Mindful Metamorphosis work—we aim to honor all forms of grief: offering space for expression, compassionate witnessing, and support for meaning-making within your unique process.

For those of you who are last-minute decision-makers, we still have two spaces available, and we also have a highly deserving scholarship applicant eager to attend.

And surprisingly, even with the retreat just a week away, flights remain reasonably priced!

If you feel even a flicker of curiosity, I invite you to reach out for a discovery call. No communication is without value.

Please reach out for your discount code and ➡️ discovery call.  

OR if you would like to contribute to a scholarship for those in need, please click here for more information ➡️ Sponsor a Griever

If you would like to apply for our grief scholarship please do so here ➡️ Grief Scholarship Application

Because support should never be out of reach.