Honoring the Light That Remains

Countless times over the past five years, I’ve asked myself, Where is my light? Yes, I’ve been grieving. Yes, everything shifted after my son Graham died. But wasn’t I still the same person? Didn’t I still possess that lightheartedness, that humor, that instinct to savor—or create—moments worth savoring, just as my beloved dad had taught me? I noticed the zip was missing. Joy no longer arrived as easily. There were still moments of beauty and gladness, but the texture of everyday life felt slightly dulled.

Yet the more I learn about grief—not only through study with experts in the field, but by becoming an expert in the experience itself—the more I understand that this is completely normal. The Conscious Grieving™ model teaches us that surrendering to grief, and to its authority, is essential. And grief does have authority—there’s no denying that. Resisting it only creates more suffering.

When we surrender, we enter a confusing, disorienting, and ultimately transformative state. Like a caterpillar retreating into its cocoon during the chrysalis phase—breaking down before it can reorganize—we do the same. From the outside, we may appear still, wrapped in our own protective casing, but internally the activity is constant. We are, quite literally, reforming our identity.

Who am I now that my loved one has died? Who do I want to become? How do I reframe life’s meaning? Often, our spirituality shifts as well, as we look for—and sometimes welcome—signs of our loved one’s continued presence. And, hopefully, we give ourselves grace and compassion during this transformation, allowing the rest, protection, and patience we need as we become something new.

When the butterfly emerges from the chrysalis, its wings are wet and crumpled. It must rest, adjust, and receive nourishment before it is ready to fly. Grief often leaves us in a similar state—crumpled, altered, less luminous than before. We need nourishment as well, to emerge whole while carrying our grief.

That nourishment requires honesty, vulnerability, and lifeblood—whatever sustains us during this profound transformation. For each of us, it looks different, and only we can discern what truly nourishes us. Often, it is witness: people who can see us and honor us exactly as we are. People who are willing to accept the shifts that have occurred.

Maybe our light is different now. Maybe it shines less brightly than before. But those who choose to walk beside us will love us anyway. They will see—and even appreciate—the new hues and shades of our light. And in this way, the flame within us grows. Even if it no longer shines in the same way, it shines just as powerfully. Perhaps, most importantly, we ourselves must accept and appreciate the changes within. The glimmer is never really gone.

At A Sacred Journey With Grief Retreat, we will hold space for you exactly as you are. Together, we will explore the invitations of Conscious Grieving™—to enter our grief, engage it, surrender to it, and ultimately allow it to transform us—woven alongside the stages of metamorphosis. Your light will be honored in all its expressions, no matter its shade, hue, or brightness.

Registration has been extended for two more participants to join us in Belize, February 8–15, 2026. We also have a highly deserving scholarship applicant eager to attend. We would be honored to walk this sacred journey with you.

Please reach out for your discount code and ➡️ discovery call.  

OR if you would like to contribute to a scholarship for those in need, please click here for more information ➡️ Sponsor a Griever

If you would like to apply for our grief scholarship please do so here ➡️ Grief Scholarship Application

Because support should never be out of reach.