Witness Is a Two-Way Blessing

This New Year’s Day marks the five-year anniversary of my son Graham’s death. Though I feel I have worked through this loss cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually, it continues to reside in my body. Grief, I’m increasingly realizing, is not only something we understand and process—it is something we carry. The recent windstorms in Boulder County made this especially clear. In an already tender season, the intensity of the winds heightened emotions and stirred anxiety, activating the fight-flight-or-freeze response for many of us. The “body keeps the score,” as they say. The lack of power mirrored our own powerlessness over loss and the unpredictable ways grief shows itself. In these moments the energy of grief bubbles up in the body until it can be released and witnessed.

Movement helps me—yoga, cycling, hiking, swimming, any form of exercise. That makes sense; emotions need motion. But just as essential is witness. And still, we ask ourselves: is it okay to want witness after five years? After ten? For those of us who are grieving, it makes all the difference.

I walked into Trader Joe’s the day after the winds died down, just before Christmas. One of the managers, Derrick—who donated nearly a hundred bouquets for Graham’s Memorial Bench dedication in July of 2021—recognized me instantly. Knowing how deeply I keep ritual, how I honor Graham’s Heaven birthday each New Year’s Day, he opened his arms, pulled me into a hug, then looked into my eyes. “When do you want to come for flowers? I know this is a tender time for you.”

Derrick remembers me every holiday season. Even though our paths rarely cross during the year, he never forgets—offering flowers, offering compassion, offering witness. This kindness from a former stranger heals.

And yet, after I thanked him and told him I’d return for the flowers on New Year’s Eve, he said that I brighten his whole existence. In that moment I realized something: his helping me heal was also healing for him. That is the power of witness. The power of compassion. The power of connection. It multiplies as we give it away, blessing and healing everyone it touches.

This experience reminds me that not only is it okay to ask for witness—it can be a gift to do so. When our heartbreak is honored, moments of true joy, love, and connection begin to flow.

My hope for you this holiday season is that you seek support and witness when you need it. I remember feeling hesitant the first time I went to Trader Joe’s in July of 2021. Should I even ask for donated flowers? I wondered. My request was simply to come on the day they would throw the wilted flowers away, imagining I might receive a few dozen drooping stems—we were going to toss them into the lake in ritual, after all.

Instead, I was invited to return on the morning of their fresh flower delivery and was given over a hundred vibrant bouquets. I was overwhelmed by this act of generosity and love. And it has grown ever since—giving begetting gratitude and healing; gratitude and healing begetting purpose and connection.

That circle of blessing and healing is what has led me to collaborate on offering The Sacred Journey With Grief Retreat in Belize in February 2026. Because together, we witness. Together, we connect. Together, we find hope—not in getting over our heartbreak, but in holding it tenderly, side by side, and building even more love and connection around it. Together, we will process grief cognitively, emotionally, spiritually, and somatically, as both community and the rainforest nourish and support each individual sacred journey with grief.

If you feel called to a container, I invite you to reach out for a discovery call. We warmly welcome each and every connection.

A few spaces remain for The Sacred Journey With Grief Retreat, February 8–15, 2026.

Registration has been extended through January 6, 2026!